The Comprehensive Ranking Of All G.I. Joe Action Figures

G.I. Joe was known as “a real American hero” (commence having the GI Joe theme song stuck in your head for the rest of the day). But aside from our men and women in uniform, America has a new real American hero: His name is Rob Bricken, and he posted this article ranking every single G.I. Joe action figure — all 163 of them.

Published last week on the website io9, it appears this over-the-top list underwent a vetting process that only a lifelong aficionado with 14 years worth of mint condition action figures in his living room can offer. “There are no members of Cobra here,” Bricken notes. “But every GI Joe: ARAH figure that was a genuine member of Joe from 1982-94 should be included.” If you’ve been waiting to validate your lifelong belief that Tunnel Rat was better than Budo, prepare to phone up your fourth grade buddy to give him a firm “I told you so,” because — as Bricken points out — an actual samurai warrior was precisely the moment when GI Joe really started reaching. As for the winner, let’s just say there’s no surprise there, but number 2 might raise some eyebrows.

( Via io9)

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This article was originally published on Oct. 15, 2015

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